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A memoir of the plants I didn't kill...

I am ashamed to admit that I've killed soooo many plants! Like soooooooo many! I always start with the best intentions, thinking that each time will be different. I wonder around the nurseries picking plants out, knowing damn well that they're living their best lives at the nursery and I'm plucking them from their safe place like a serial killer. All while I lie to myself... this time I will remember to water them, this time I will fertilize them once a month! I even purchase the fertilizers and the cutest watering cans they have... and they've all just sat there unopened and unused. If plants were children, i'd be in jail by now! Ive killed succulents people! Do you know how hard you have to - TRY - to kill succulents! Like you actually have to TRY! BUT... some plants have survived! Not from my lack of trying to kill them, but because they are survivors! Strong, resilient, fighters that refused to succumb to my torture! If you're anything like me... then this list is for you!

Plants have such a long list of benefits...

  • Real plants may sharpen your attention.

  • Indoor plants may help reduce stress levels.

  • Plants may help you recover from illness faster.

  • Plants may boost your productivity.

  • Plants may improve your whole outlook on work.

  • Plants improve the air quality in your house/office.

And so many more... but you get the point... they're good to have around. But keeping them alive is an entirely different struggle... So without further ado, here are the top 3 plants that I've been able to keep alive for any significant amount of time...

#1 - Snake Plant (also known as Mother in Law Tongue)

This is the REAL MVP of Interior and exterior plants that can withstand even the worst of living conditions. It does best when watered infrequently and does well in shade/dark spots, but can also be planted outside where it gets some filtered light.

Here is what google says about this plant...

Snake plants prefer bright, indirect light and can even tolerate some direct sunlight. However, they also grow well (albeit more slowly) in shady corners and other low-light areas of the home. Keep the plant in a warm spot with temperatures above 50°F (10°C). In the winter, be sure to protect it from drafty windows. Water every 10 days or when soil is dry.

Here is what I do...

I have them in all types of light conditions and they're all doing fine. I stick my finger in the dirt, if the soil feels dry I water it, if it feels moist then I leave it alone. I have never fertilized it. I have the fertilizer, I just have never used it! Oy, what is wrong with me!

#2 - Rubber Tree Plant

In full honesty, I have killed this plant. Multiple times. But hear me out, even though ive killed it, it took a loooong time to die! Like months! So thats why its making the list, this one is a fighter!

Here is what google says about this plant...

The Ficus elastica likes soil with a good amount of moisture, avoid placing it somewhere drying, such as near a drafty window or vent, or in direct sunlight. Bright, indirect light is ideal, but are tolerant of lower light spaces. It is ideal to underwater your rubber plant than to overwater it. Watering your rubber plant every 5-6 days would be perfect.

Here is what I do...

I keep it near a window where it gets indirect sun. Its near my sink, so I do water it more often because I see it every time I wash my hands. I usually just grab some water in my hands and splash it in. I have 3 very cute watering cans, never used one of them. I also dont wipe the leaves like google says I should. Who has time to be wiping plant leaves?! I barely have time to wash myself let alone leaves! TMI?

#3 - Dracaena

This one has survived the longest in our office... Like, I forgot to water it for like 3 months during the early stages of the pandemic and it somehow survived that! If thats not a true survivor story, I don't know what is!

Here is what google says about this plant...

Dracaena marginata, is a reliable and low-maintenance indoor plant. If you live in a warm area with extremely mild winters, you can also keep this colorful tree outdoors all year! Be sure to provide the plant with a mixture of sun and shade, as well as enough (but not too much!) water.

Here is what I do...

Not a damn thing! Other than water it when I remember? Which is like every couple of months, at best. I did start watering it more consistently recently, and the leaf edges started to turn brown, so moral of that story is, ONLY water when I remember! I've had it tucked in a corner next to my filing cabinet and it did fine, I now have it next to our seating sofa in the main room, where it gets more sunlight, and its fine there too. I really don't think you can do anything to bother this trooper, other than pay it too much attention, it likes its privacy, please respect that! lol!

And there you have it, literally the only 3 plants I've ever been able to keep alive for any significant amount of time! You know if these survived my wrath, they'll probably survive at your house too!

Happy plant hunting my fellow plant killers!

Much love,



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